I'm not so tough
by Sara Sidle Grissom
Summary: My take on what happened where Russet Potatoes ended. Rigsby does remember and finds the courage to tell Grace. Complete.
A/N: It's been a while since The Mentalist ended, but I have recently started watching again, and needless to say became a huge fan of Grigsby! I decided to pick up where Russet Potatoes left us, writing what I hoped would've happened. Thus the first part is the conversation at the end of the episode.

The song used is 'I'm not so tough' by Ilse DeLange. Upon hearing the song this entire scene came into my head. I hope you'll like it (if anyone is still reading The Mentalist fanfic...). Enjoy!

* * *

 **I'm not so tough**

" _So you don't remember anything from when you were hypnotized?" Grace asked as she leaned against the counter, a coffee mug in her hand._

" _Fragments. But no, not really," Rigsby said, looking straight ahead. "Thank goodness, right?" He asked, looking up at Van Pelt with a large grin._

" _Yeah," Grace replied, a small smile on her face, but disappointment not hidden far beneath._

" _Did I make a fool of myself?" Rigsby asked, looking between Van Pelt and Lisbon. "Clucked like a chicken?" He asked, a hint of worry in his voice and eyes. "I didn't do Tina Turner, did I?" This time his eyes found Jane and Cho, his brows furrowed slightly._

" _No. You were perfectly normal," Grace replied with a small nod before leaving the breakroom._

" _Good, that's a relief, eh?" Rigsby chuckled a little, looking down into his coffee cup._

" _Coward," Jane grinned._

" _What?" Rigsby asked, confused._

" _You honestly don't remember?" Jane asked with a hint of amusement in his voice._

" _Don't remember what?" Rigsby asked to clarify._

" _He remembers," Cho grinned._

" _He so remembers," Lisbon added with a small grin before following Cho out of the breakroom._

" _What?" Rigsby laughed nervously, looking around, watching them leave._

" _It'll come to you," Jane smiled as he got up, squeezing Rigsby's shoulder in the process._

This caused Rigsby to chuckle lightly but then fall silent. He shook his head slightly, he couldn't have done that, now could he? Could he? He took a large sip of his coffee before staring into the mug, trying to piece together the fragments that were floating through his head. He remembered Jane hurting him, though he didn't recall exactly that he had done. And then there was that situation in the bull pen, everybody looking at him and Van Pelt. Wait, what? Had he honestly kissed Grace in the middle of the bull pen? In front of everybody?

"Oh boy…" Rigsby breathed out as he took another sip of his coffee before getting up and placing the empty mug in the sink. His mind went back and forth on wanting to talk to her about it, would she be open to that conversation? 'She asked me if I'd remembered anything,' he thought to himself as he paced through the small room. He looked down at his watch, 5.15, if he was quick he would be able to catch her downstairs in the parking lot.

He walked by his office, grabbing his coat, ignoring both Cho and Jane. He pressed the elevator button a couple of times, even though he knew it wouldn't move any faster. He let out a deep sigh and ran his hand over the back of his head as the soft ping of the elevator doors opening sounded. He stepped in and pressed the ground floor. What was he going to say to her? How was he going to approach this topic?

He tapped his foot lightly on the floor of the elevator and waited, not so patiently, until the doors opened. He rushed outside and looked around for any sign of her Jeep, but concluded he'd just missed her. He cursed under his breath before grabbing the keys from his pocket. He unlocked his car, slipped behind the wheel and let out a deep sigh. He wasn't sure what to do now. Should he drive over to her place to talk, or should he go home and pretend like nothing happened, like he'd done so many times before?

He turned the key in the ignition and finally made the decision. He put the car in reverse, backed out of the parking lot and headed onto the main road, knowing exactly which directions to take to end up at her apartment building only half an hour later. He parked the car and looked up at the windows, seeing a light on in her apartment. After gathering the courage he got out, locked the car remotely and headed to the front door. He hoped she would let him in. He found her name and after a deep sigh he pressed the button. 'I'm no coward,' he thought to himself, 'I'm careful.'

Grace got up from her couch as she heard the bell ring. She grabbed the phone as the little camera screen turned on. "Rigsby," she said, surprised. "What are you doing here?" She asked, watching him look up at the camera.

"Can I come up and explain?" Rigsby asked, "I don't feel comfortable talking from here," he added, a small grin on his face.

"Oh yeah, sure," Grace replied and pushed the unlock button, unlocking the front door downstairs. She moved over to her apartment door and opened it slightly so he wouldn't have to knock again.

Rigsby took the stairs one at a time and found her door ajar. He still gave it a knock as not to startle her. "Hey," he called out as he stepped inside her apartment, closing the door behind him. He walked into the living room, not yet taking off his coat, in case she wanted him to leave as soon as possible. "I think I have some explaining to do," he started as he looked up at her.

Grace looked up at him for a moment, nervously crossing her arms in front of her chest before nodding her head towards the couch, indicating she wanted them to sit down. She sat down and waited until he'd done so as well. She looked deeply into his eyes and waited.

 _I can almost read your mind, it's runnin' fast,  
Out of control  
You're afraid of what you'll find,  
If you get too close  
You imagine I don't care,  
You see walls that just aren't there  
You think I'm too strong to let you in  
Well that's just not fair_

"When I said I remembered only fragments of the past two days I wasn't lying," Rigsby started as he broke their eye-contact, looking down at his hands nervously. "It wasn't until the others' reactions and Jane squeezing my shoulder…" he trailed off, his hand moving to his shoulder, "that I remembered what I've done today," he finished. He let out a deep sigh and looked back up at her, "I need to apologize for my actions," he said gently and wanted to elaborate, but she held up her hand.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Grace replied to him. "I'm not sure if you remember the whole situation," she added, "but I didn't resist anything you did, if anything I returned it," she blushed deeply. She couldn't help but look down, but knew he was smiling at her.

"You did, didn't you?" Rigsby asked as a form of confirmation, grinning shyly and looking down at his hands. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab her hand, but he didn't dare. He wasn't sure if that was something she would be comfortable with and wanted him to do. Over the past months she'd successfully shut him out of her life, even though he'd told her and showed her he loved her.

Grace bit her lower lip and saw his inner battle. She decided to help him out by gently grabbing his large hand in hers. "Wayne…" she started and slowly looked up to meet his eyes, which were filled with hope… and fear. "I feel I've led you on for too long," she started and could see the fear grow in his eyes. She shook her head to hopefully stop it from growing further. "I… I'm not sure how to do this, but I need you in my life, I want to let you, fully let you in," she admitted with a blush.

Rigsby could do nothing else but squeeze her hand gently, his other hand coming up to cup her cheek. "I thought you didn't want to let me in," he admitted. "You seem so strong and… as if you want to do everything by yourself," he added, shaking his head slightly, feeling silly.

"I'm not _that_ tough," Grace smiled, chuckling lightly as she leaned into his touch. "I pretend to be, but in all truth, I need you there with me," she admitted.

Her last confession was all Rigsby needed to hear. He moved his other hand up to cup her other cheek, glancing down to look at her lips. He looked back up into her eyes to see if she was okay with the move he was about to make next. When he saw her soft smile he closed the distance between them, his lips capturing hers in a soft kiss.

Grace smiled gently against his lips, this kiss was much softer and gentler than the one he had given her earlier, but it made butterflies flutter in her stomach nonetheless. She pulled away after a bit, her lips slightly swollen due to his sweet assault. She blushed and smiled sweetly at him. "You know… that was what I wanted to do most in this world too," she admitted before her lips found his again.

* * *

 _The End_


End file.
